IM of CNY
Life Lesson: People Get Hurt When You Act Small
By Angelica Martin, MS, PA-C
In early August I had the life changing opportunity to travel to Mount Shasta, CA with the most wonderful angels from across the planet. It was instant magic amongst soul family as we grew individually, and together. Throughout the four days, which, let's be honest, felt like a lifetime, we witnessed each other's breakthroughs as well as our collective growth. To say these moments were a sacred gift is an understatement. The closest I can get to describing the miraculous container in which we all evolved is that feeling of Deja vu, just before you label it as such, for four straight amazing days.
It was during our last full day in Mount Shasta that we all received the largest breakthrough, individually, and naturally, collectively as well.
To set the scene: we had just spent an hour in a man-made pyramid, receiving healing and energetic transmissions which I feel are still in integration. We had plans to have a guide meet us at a local park to bring us to the base of Mount Shasta for a spiritual tour of the mountain. As we were sharing our stunning experiences during our lunch, the guide and her husband approached our picnic table, eager to greet us and yet, innocently interrupting our sacred flow of shared experiences.
Despite feeling uneasy about the situation and, honestly, about our guide, we followed the scheduled plan, heading to the mountain and took her lead. As she lead us to a very rocky area, surrounded on one side by tall rock formations, she invited us to sit and join her in meditation. Some of us stayed close by, while others found comfort farther away on the rocky terrain or on the rock formations themselves.
For myself, I continued to feel energetically uncomfortable and found myself becoming frustrated with the discomfort of my environment as the ground was not only rocky, but the air was becoming cold. I could not focus on her meditation. I did not want to participate. I felt irritated, cold, and grumpy.
I wanted out.
But I sat quietly, following the lead of our guide, my mentor, and my soul family.
Before the meditation ended, I opened my eyes. I began to "see" rainfall before I felt it and before my physical eyes began to see it as well. I had an impending sense of doom. I wanted to run and leave everyone else behind.
But I stayed.
And then the rain came.
"Wonderful!" I thought, "Now I am going to be cold and wet". I found myself in a small crevice within the rock formation to avoid the unfavorable conditions, but also in avoidance of this new energy, our guide, that seemed to disrupt the energy of our sacred container.
My group began to hoist up a makeshift tarp in hopes to keep us dry. My crevice was no longer protecting me from the rain, so I put aside my spite, and joined to help my soul fam stay dry. Under the tarp and assisting holding it up from below, a rock was placed on top of the tarp and underneath the rock formation just inches above our heads to hold it steady.
I saw the clunk before I heard it.
The rock that was only moments ago keeping us safe and dry, landed right on the noggin of one of my fellow retreat attendees. I watched her face, in shock, as she gradually sat herself on the ground.
I stood in front of her as I observed our tour guide provide energy healing to her head and neck, finding myself even more irritated by her "help." I also found myself losing a false layer of identity in which I had stayed strong in for the past few months.
"How could I possibly stand in disbelief of this other woman's gifts?! How could I not believe in energy work?! Why the hell did I leave my career in medicine if I don't have respect to these practices?! Am I a hypocrite?!"
After what seemed like an eternity, my instincts kicked in. Without another beat, I squatted down, looked my soul friend in the eye, and took charge.
"Hey love. I'm a Physician Assistant. Can I do an exam on you to check your neuro status?"
Her eyes widened. She gratefully received the medicine in which I underwent vigorous training to perform. Medicine in which I was so quick to throw out the window just a month ago.
From that point on, I lead the way.
I spoke up.
I stood in my power.
In the end, all was well. She was cleared by the ED physician in town, diagnosed with a concussion and given strict orders to rest.
Once "home." we gathered in our living room, snuggled up in collective disbelief and rawness, ready for the healing of what we just experienced to begin.
In sharing, we realized that we all felt out of resonance with our scheduled guide, however, no one spoke up in fear of ruining our itinerary. In a sense, we created our own chaos as we each remained out of integrity for, what we thought, was the best for the group.
What we learned was that our voices, our power, matters in every moment and in each situation. That our intuition is more keen than any plan that our minds have created.
To trust our inner knowing, regardless of the situation... that likely, the intuition of those around you are pinging at the same frequency as your own and that those surrounding you will likely feel the same relief you will feel once you have spoken your truth.
I also had a huge breakthrough in addition to the lessons above.
Recalling the moment in which I doubted alternative medicine and fell into self-criticism over feeling such doubt, I realized what had been right under my nose all along: Western Medicine and Alternative Medicine are not separate entities. I am not just one or the other. I am both. I operate in both, and it is my life's purpose to bridge the two; to stand as a mediator between two healing worlds that deny the other rather than converging on a momentous and natural level.
It is safe to say, I returned from Mount Shasta a new person; more clear in who I am and who I am here to serve.
I am so immensely grateful to be of service to YOU, to gift you the healing YOU desire WHEN you desire it.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you… For sharing with me. For entrusting me. For BEAMING here <3